2025-06-14
• dating • 568 words
I've now been using dating apps for some month and a half. I wrote my thoughts - which were not especially positive - when I first started end of April. I have been using them every day, but not paying for them - instead, I have just used the free likes that one gets each day (six for Hinge, a few more for Bumble).
Neither are especially fun. Frankly, I find them completely tiring. I swipe every day but don't tend to get matches; I don't think my profile is especially bad. I got a match within the first day or two, with a girl who I didn't find attractive; no bother. Then within a few days with another girl, who was somewhat attractive, but who gave only one word responses, so I unmatched as I was getting nothing from it. My third and final match was with a girl who talked to initiate, but then took a good week to reply and finally ended up not replying. A bit of a waste of time.
The rest of it has been essentially half an hour a day lost to the dating apps, with nothing to show for it.
I feel as though it is a waste of time.
Now, potentially I might get a match maybe at some point in the future through it, and the conversation will be glorious and I'll have a great date with them. After 45 days that doesn't appear to be happening. It is a real drag, takes a lot of time, and doesn't give me... much in return.
On the other hand, I went to a mixer (just one). It was one evening, good fun chatting to a few people, and whilst I didn't see anyone I really wanted to ask out on a date, it was just a fun evening. I spent less time, had more fun, and frankly saw a decent few people. Plus, I end up practising actual conversation that way, not just swiping. It orients me in a better direction, and again, it is just a fun night out.
I am not sure whether I will quit dating apps. I sort of do want to. There is a slight hold to them, almost as if I am missing out on chance and opportunity by not using them. That said, if I continue to do the dating events whenever I get a chance, I am giving myself that chance and opportunity. I think that will be more fulfilling.
I don't think my confidence has sunk by it. I believe it may do for certain people, especially if they are not already confident in themselves. I do find myself attractive (at least somewhat) and am fairly confident in myself - now, I'm not especially socially confident but I am fine with that. Dating apps have not lowered my confidence, they are just tedious, and seemingly fruitless.
I think I may as well give it up. Instead, I will put my effort and energy (and money...) into going to more in-person events (speed-dating, mixers, etc.) as I feel they are far more enjoyable, do not contribute to the use of the phone, and I imagine are more successful. I tend to get numbers every time I go to mixers, the problem being that usually it is men's numbers not women's... But I can change that easily. In person, things are a lot easier to do.