Hung up on being good

2024-11-10

(This is entry 34 of #100DaysToOffload)

I think I'm too hung up on the idea of being good. I want to be good at the gym (as in, have a good physique). I want to be good at drawing. I want to be good at guitar. I want to be good at the allotment. I want to be good at reading. I want to be good at writing.

Why don't I just, I don't know, do the thing? Ignore good altogether. Just, do it for the fun of it?

I write this blog, and do it solely for my own enjoyment. When I read, I read for my own enjoyment. When I go to the gym, I do it at least partly because I enjoy it, but also focussed on an end goal. Yet, for guitar, and for drawing, I don't do it to enjoy it. I do it to try to get somewhere. And then I get frustrated because I'm no good at it, and end up quitting for a while until I try pick it up again. It's been three months since I've played guitar, even though for a few months I was doing it consistently. It's been a few weeks now since I've drawn. I just need to do what I enjoy, I suppose. Don't force it to be good (as I won't be good) - just enjoy it instead.