2025-02-28
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(This is entry 3 of 200DaysToOffload)
... And it's approaching the end of February now. This month has gone wayy too quickly.
I've read two Alain de Botton books this month: The Pleasures and Sorrows of Work, and The Architecture of Happiness. I enjoyed both. I also started reading Die Wand (original German version of The Wall, which I read in... I want to say Dec-22?) which has been quite pleasant, I haven't finished it yet though.
I've practised mandolin nine times, and guitar a mere two. I know I haven't played them enough this month, and do feel a bit guilty... Or rather, I just want to, but life gets in the way.
I still am improving a bit though, and I notice that my left thumb doesn't jam up as much or as painfully now. I think because I am putting less pressure on it, and probably giving it more time to recover.
I took a trip to Devon to sit my RHS exam. It was quite nice - we were at a pub called the Bickford Arms, and were the only guests there. The owner of the pub very nicely drove us about everywhere.
Whilst there, I sat the RHS exam. It was more difficult than I thought it would be, and I had forgotten a lot of the stuff in the first module, e.g. on bryophytes and pteridophytes and... Still, hopefully I passed. I haven't gotten my mark back yet.
I actually started to look at IF2, and it doesn't seem too bad, honestly. I'm going to try get it all done by say, end of April.
Again, underperformed this month...
In terms of sets, I got from 86 to 148 as I write, maybe a little bit more once the day is over. Not great, and it still puts me behind of target, but I think the most important part is being consistent, which I am trying to be. Even if that means consistently doing too little, I just need to keep on making sure I'm doing it. I'd rather have 60 sets done each month than none, even if 60 is less than the 100 I'd aim for.
Not bonus this month, but I think I managed to put enough away, and have kept within my £600 budget for the month.
I aimed to do 10 minutes of yoga each day, which again hasn't happened. I'm not going to beat myself up about it.
Haven't started yet. Next month I will, as I will need to start sowing the seed for the year.
Completed! I've now started it again, and called it 200DaysToOffload.
I've still got a few tasks I haven't gotten around to, like setting up my ISA and LISA. I do need to do that in March as well, before the end of the financial year. RHS M6 is still not finished, either.
I had a good few days out: dinners at restaurants (Thai, Indian, ...), a trip to the opera to see Il Trovatore, Les Mis, ...
Those were really quite good.
If I compare myself to my goals, I've underperformed on essentially every metric. However, I think I've partly discovered that it doesn't really help me to beat myself up constantly about underperformance. I just need to do what I can, and try to enjoy life a little more. This month has been so very depressing for me, like all the months since September. The mindset shift that I decided to set about has been a disaster in terms of my mental health. I knew it would be, but I didn't expect it to take this much of a toll. This is the first winter I've gotten very bad depression, and whilst I'm glad that the days are lengthening again and I can feel myself getting by gradual grades happier, I need to do something about the mindset. I have been in a state of depression since September. A lot of the time, that hurts my "productivity" as I have days I can't really do much of at all because I can barely make it out of bed or will myself to do what needs to be done.
I'll try to still be productive next month, but also beat myself up less if I am not. I need to learn to be happy with myself, and be patient with myself as I try to become who I want to be.