50 in 50: What is my relationship with my phone?

It's a bit odd that we speak of having a relationship with a phone. It is a clear sign of how entangled we typically are with them.

I really do not like the phone. I give a three letter name to all my systems: for instance, my computer at home is 'sah', or 'stuck at home'. The laptop I am currently writing this on often gets taken on the train, hence the name 'otg', or 'on the go'. My phone is called 'aos': agent of sin.

Now, a lot of the things that make it an agent of sin have been cleared away. I have installed a custom ROM and made accessing the internet very difficult: search engines and various sites are all blocked through /system/etc/hosts, and so I can't really do anything bad with that. I don't have social media either, but even if I wanted to I can't because it is blocked too. My screen time on it is not generally that bad, nowadays at most an hour or two and generally far less. I also don't tend to have access to the internet (at least, I don't buy data unless I really need it for something, and am otherwise on pay-as-you-go making internet access difficult).

Still, I dislike it.

I dislike the form factor: it is very annoying to do just about anything on the phone.

I dislike how, even still, it is addicting. I can access blogs, and the like, and find I tend to waste lunchtimes at work just reading blogs. Well, not waste exactly as it's still something good, but I can tell I'm doing it in that unconscious, brainrotted way that people interact with social media with.

The phone depresses me, generally.

I do want to be shot of it, the problem being that I do need it for certain things - I talk to people through it, I keep in touch with friends. So, I am stuck with it.

I don't ever get a new one though. I got my last new phone in 2018, which was an S9+. I've kept it ever since - for seven years now. It still works, still does the job, and I will keep it until it's completely destroyed. Once it is, I will have to figure out whether I get another cheap old phone (like a Oneplus) or, whether I just switch to a dumbphone. I can't realistically go without, unfortunately.

I'm not sure what the future will hold for the phone. In a way, it is very useful. At the same time, I don't enjoy having it with me. I think it is one of those unfortunate things that must be managed, every single day. I have to manage my use of it to be only those things that are worthwhile, and try to stop it from taking over my life too much.