Finding the perfect system

(This is entry 72 of #100DaysToOffload)

I spend too much time thinking of what could be the perfect system. I have this idea in my head that if I only find the perfect system of tracking, and of points-scoring, and of understanding my concerns, that I might be more productive. The thing I don't realise as much is, I stress myself out over it a lot. I have had a tight chest the past week, and though it could be relating to the fact that I have had arrythmias re-appear this past week (possibly a byproduct of eating six bulbs of garlic last weekend), I think the tightness is psychological. Or, stress induced. Or, something in between.

Nulla est homini causa philosophandi nisi ut beatus sit. The system is to try to find that which is superlatively productive, yet I always stumble across the same problems: work is a detractor, socialising is not deemed productive in the system. Everything becomes goal, or progress oriented. Nothing can be for its own sake.

I've adopted something bad for myself, I feel. I felt a severe depression earlier this winter. It's a little better now, but there is now the tightness in my chest. I think it all points to stress, and I can't pin it all on work.

I don't need a perfect system. I just want it. Instead, I should just try to enjoy what I have. Maybe I'll be a little happier, beatitudinal.