2025-02-23
• weeknotes • 704 words
My weeknotes for the week 2025-02-17 to 2025-02-23.
Work again, and then there was a leaving drinks in the evening which I went to. I didn't drink any alcohol, was a bit awkward, and then castigated myself for the fact on the train ride home.
I saw another friend, this time in person, in the evening. It was good to catch up - I hadn't seen him in months!
The train into work was really late. It normally arrives at 08:14 (and I am in the office for 08:20). Instead, it was delayed by a good hour, then stopped at an earlier stop so I had to get another train from there to actually get into London. I arrived at the office at 10 almost on the dot (everybody asked me if I'd overslept). Also, when I tried to do Delay Repay, the website doesn't work - it just loads forever when you get to the final screen. I've tried it on different browsers, devices, etc. and nothing seems to work. So I'll go into the station at some point and do it then.
I have no recollection of what I did in the evening. I also didn't write anything down in my scratchpad or journal. However, I did release a blog update, so I think this was the day I rethemed the website, implemented summaries, etc. I do like how the website looks now.
I finished 100DaysToOffload! I also popped round my grandma's, whose house I am looking after whilst they are on holiday, to get the key and be shown where everything is.
I went to the cafe to study as usual, and then came home, ate far too much chocolate (previously, I bought myself six months of chocolate with one bar per month: on this day I ate or gave away all of March's supply, and most of April's), and then moved over everything I need to my grandma's house whilst I am living here. Three instruments (guitar, mandolin, violin (that I can't play)), two bags of clothes, my set of dumbbells, laptops, etc.
I slept horrifically. Maybe just because it's a new bed, maybe something else too. I ended up with two ideas though.
Firstly, next week, I'm going to try to break my tradition for lunches when I'm in the city, where I normally have soups or curries. I'm going to make a proper packed lunch, with sandwiches, fruit, yoghurt, maybe some soup, tempeh, etc. Then, instead of eating at my desk, I'm going to try a different sitting place (park, etc.) each day. For instance, I might try Aldgate Square one day, Billingsgate the next, St Dunstan's after that, etc. I'll just explore about. It'll make for a nice change.
Secondly, I want to drastically reduce my technology use now I am here, so that I use it only when I need to use it. For instance, this laptop can be used only writing posts for the blog. The other one can be used only when I need to use it to see my friend on a Monday (who lives miles away so we can't meet in person).
I got up at about nine, after trying to get back to sleep but not being able to. Then, I showered, had breakfast (three small potatoes, microwaved, and a tin of beans, plus some rapeseed oil drizzled over) and went for a walk.
I felt really depressed and tired today. On the walk, I was dragging my heels on the return journey, almost completely without energy. Not sure why, really.
I ended up thinking about my habit of beating myself up for not being enough. I need to stop doing that, and accept that I am fine how I am. Change the currently mentality of I'm not enough now, but I could be better in the future if I apply myself, to: I'm enough now, and I could be better in the future.
That's why I am happy I'm away from home, on my own, for a bit. It gives me a bit of time to think, change habits, and readjust my mindset. I will try use it effectively.
Until next week!