2024-07-24
It's Wednesday evening now, and I really do hope my sleep schedule will forgive me just this once for the terrible act I am presently committing (that of sacrificing sleep for the ability to write wv) but I just want to write. Oddly, I don't think I can manage a thousand words, nor do I really want to. I guess I will end up having to, forced by the format. The previous wv I suppose will function in a way as a break to the system, and allow some degree of flexibility to what is otherwise far too rigid... well, let's get started anyways.
Earlier today, I was reflecting on my tasks list for work. I have a spreadsheet called tasks.xlsx which I track tasks in: it's a new thing since April, because I'm trying to figure out the best way to manage tasks. It is fairly simple, containing an id (made up of a superid and subid, to be able to group tasks relating to the same overarching topic or a recurrent task, etc.) a description and just a deadline. No priority, etc. The aim with not including priority was that it should be unnecessary: if a task is urgent or high priority, the deadline should reflect that fact.
In reality, the tasks list has been fairly neglected, as I ended up with tasks that took far longer than the deadline allowed for, and it really made no sense to keep on extending the deadline for a task that was "when it's done, it's done" kind of thing. So, I don't think the present system will work. I also end up being assigned tasks that are to be completed immediately, or people call me over and ask for help on something, and all this makes me either have to go through and rejig all the deadlines, or just always be late on things, which knocks my self-esteem and probably looks bad to my manager if he could see.
As well, tracking how a task evolves (e.g. one thing leading to another) all just makes the thing difficult. So earlier today (back when it wasn't eleven at night and I had a guilty conscience about sleep), I was thinking about the typology of tasks.
Firstly, we have tasks that yield another in turn, like parents to children. In my notes, I represented these as a -> b -> c. For instance, you may have a task to reply to an e-mail, but then someone says "thanks, and can you do x as well?". The second task is borne of the first.
Tasks can be created also by division out of other tasks, which I represented as a {b, c}. A larger task (say, shut 31,453 windows) can be divided into two (firstly, shut one window, then secondly, shut the remaining 31,452 - sardonic example (just use a tag, me)).
Another type of task that would often get neglected to be written (but I suppose would be noted for ego management (stick the word management on anything, it sounds professional and corporate) or for saying "look, this" to a manager who asks always what you've done that day) is what I've represented as immed(a). These are tasks that are immediately sorted, like 'can you just add this to that for me', or if someone calls you over for something quick. I mean, sometimes it's not quick, but I guess it still counts as immediate, because the task is never in an 'awaiting action' state. You're either doing it or it's done.
p ~> a, b is how I've denoted a task created from an overarching project. I think these can be handled separately due to the way one would typically want to display on this. It's not individual tasks that are done, not individual aspects of one thing, but individual aspects (potentially, of aspects of) an overarching project. Well, to give an example, at work at the moment, we are collating and uploading to a Cloud (how businessman make 'database' sound fancier) our datasets for all of our MGAs (insurance word for, companies who write business for us). So we've got many individual steps (compilation, mapping, validation, etc.) for each entity as a part of the overarching project. There are of course trackers for this already (see below, I guess) but also each part is a big enough job that I'd like to track it so I can list that I want to get x done say, on Friday or whatever as a proper task. Essentially, that is what this represents.
There is also ¬a (that is the symbol I wrote, thank high heaven I've an en_GB keyboard) which is for tasks tracked elsewhere. I guess I still might want them on my tracker, but I need to update the other tracker for it, really, at least to either monitor progress, or just once it's done.
Well, that's what I wrote so far. The goal in trying to enumerate these was to try come up with a system that accounts for how tasks really evolve, and be able to manage them in this way. But really, I guess I need to also try to see how work really happens, as it is not linear at all, and in fact has many side-movements and distractions. It is a nice ideal to hold that I'll just focus on a task and not accept any others until the one is complete, but real life just isn't like that. For instance, I was going to complete a task Friday before I went on holiday. But then, an urgent task came up that took all my time from me. When I came back two weeks later, I had a number of small jobs I had to do that had appeared whilst I was off, and also had another task I had to do that I had promised to do as soon as I got back, and then another large task has come up for me in the meantime. So I've gone two and a half weeks not finishing this one task, with many others (largely small) in between in the three days I've worked since I've been back from holiday.
So, I don't think deadlines really work. At the same time, I really ought have at least some way to track what I've been doing, maybe to spur myself on to do better, maybe to ensure I don't forget anything (happened just today - my boss gave me a lesson that I should practise 'stakeholder management' (cf. above)) or generally just to get on top of things. I just don't want it to become a liability, or stray too far (ideally at all) from reality, so that it becomes functionally useless. I had to keep so many mental notes on top of the task list as to what I was actually focus on that I just gave up on it. I need a better version.
The system should also take into account recurrent tasks, e.g. 'do x for y each month', and the fact that there may not be hard deadlines around this, just a kind of 'do it on about the 20th of each month'. Also, that they may not be able to be completely immediately, but may actually generate tasks of themselves that need to be tracked. For instance, I may need to ask someone for something to complete this task, which itself needs to be tracked so I don't forget (as an aside, forget in Norwegian, glemme, ultimately comes from a word glaumr, which means 'merry noise' - to forget is joyous: å glemme er å glede seg) where it is. I guess I need a way to generate tasks easily from another. Can I do this in Excel? I guess I can add... macros. I also would really like to keep it simple, so if I can use a simple text document (as I do often to track things anyways) it would do me good.
It also needs to be able to interact with any goals I have, because unfortunately my place like many others does goals setting each year for performance review, KPIs, whatever nonsense they call it nowadays (as one can tell, I'm not a fan. But I put up with it. Ought I?). So I guess that's also a concern.
I also want it to interact in a way with my health and my circadian rhythm. I get up early most mornings (half five to six) and so end up with my afternoon slump between about one and two. I take my lunch at twelve on the dot normally. I tend to work through the slump, which isn't really great. What I actually want to do is nap, but I don't suppose my place would allow that. Businesses are normally a bit funny about sleep. They want to take and not give, and all that. Sleeping is deemed as non-productive, even if it helps you to be more productive once you get up... oh well, that's the norms of the world. A broken world, broken corporate world. (It's late at night, so I can get away with the disinhibition granted me by reckless non-sleep. I value sleep, says the man up at quarter to midnight writing... a blog entry, basically). Generally though, I guess I want to just have a tasks list that allows for me to pick off small fry in the afternoon when I'm not mentally competent, and save the bigger tasks for the morning, when I'm slightly mentally competent.
Ok, with all that said, I've no idea where to start. Maybe I just need to sit down and think about it more. Oh god, more thinking? It seems like the more I think, the more I need to think. Reminded of Pirsig's comments on hypotheses...
So I'm done with that topic. Let's ramble. (It's at 1600 words already - can I say I've actually done two wv's because of the length? Well, the last one I did was super short (and not going to be transcribed) so I guess swings and roundabouts.
What about. Oh, let's say, the website.
I'm still... hold on, let me check if I didn't write about this last time... oh I did. I was going to write about how I don't write enough on the website.
I guess I could write about my ego, and my social malaise. I found myself quite inhibited and shy, particularly around my boss, today. He can be a little difficult to get in the right way with, and I feel I don't have the confidence to be in that way, really back up by my lack of skills. I am trying to improve but it's slow.
Oh. In terms of self-esteem though, on Tuesday a man did compliment me on my shirt. My dad called it 'funky' as well. I didn't realise it was so unusual a shirt to wear! It is just a white shirt with little flowers repeated across it as the design. It's still somewhat professional, I think. A lot of the shirts I wear in my personal life are of that sort of 'Hawaiian' form.
In terms of clothing for the office, I'm still not quite sure what's appropriate. I think I've discovered that that shirt is ok. I have another shirt which does look more like a casual shirt you might take to a club or something (a sort of cream colour, not the right word but I'm tired, alright) and is short sleeve, which is what really gets me. I'm not sure if short sleeve is a step too far. I guess ultimately, the only way is to try it and judge the reaction. I guess I should pick a hotter day for that. But really, I guess I don't know why it feels so oppressive. It's just clothes; women get the freedom... how is it such a labour for me mentally to judge whether or not something is appropriate? I think in a way I've just been ground down.
I've got a form of social anxiety I think. It's getting better with each day, but I really do just have bad days. A lot of them. I'm gradually getting more confident, though. It'll come along. I don't really like labels though, or diagnoses, or anything like that. It doesn't help. I know what the problem is, whether I've got this or that or whatever other pathology. Then again, it's probably just shyness, not a pathology proper. But I'm using today's language too much. I'm too well educated, yet I'm still stupid.
Oh, I'll quit here. I might bring the laptop with me so I can try write more wv on the train if I am not too tired. I slept wonderfully on the train to work and managed a bit of a nap (even despite the people talking opposite me, in the quiet carriage no less!) on the way back. I dreamt on the way there. I don't remember what the dream was, except that it was lovely...
Ok. Night night. Have a good one.