2024-07-26
I've been experimenting with managing my tasks with a notepad where I tick off whether I've done a particular thing in the day, for the past few weeks (or months at this point, I suppose) to be able to keep a track of what I've done, or not done (in the case of vices I want to avoid). It lets me see if a week has been good and productive, or the opposite of that, or somewhere in between. I can then reason about why that might be, and try better next week. I can also spot where I have focussed heavily on one thing, and it has come at a loss of other things.
But I notice something. I just put ticks and crosses for what I've done or not. I decided I would do a sort of points system, where engaging in certain vices is a negative point, and doing something positive is a positive point. I then try to get by the end of the week to a certain number of points, say, 20. Yet, if I engage in a vice, or do a thing once, I'm tempted to engage in the vice again, or not do the thing again when I could, and it would be beneficial. In other words, I can justify myself against that point system by saying, "well, I've already done x bad thing which is -1 point, so I guess I can do it again and I don't lose anything." Of course, this isn't true, as I lose time, and the benefit of doing something more productive. Likewise, I'm not normally tempted to practise guitar twice in a day, or indeed write wv as I am now twice in a day, because I think, well, I won't benefit by it. The goal has become a proxy for real life, and Goodhart's Law states, when a measure becomes a target, it ceases to be a good measure.
How do I deal with this? Well, I guess it's because I'm doing it as a binary done/not-done thing. Instead, I need it to be a more flexible counter, where I can say that writing two wv entries, or practising guitar for an hour, instead of half an hour, counts double. Likewise then, 15 minutes counts for 0.5 I suppose. I think this could lead to a meticulous minute-by-minute tracking, like I used to have when I would even track the beginning and end times I would read books, and which was so cumbersome I eventually gave it up.
Is it worth it?
Right now as well, I'm writing wv, when I am ultimately avoiding practising guitar... arguably, I'm still being productive in some sense, but of course that isn't quite enough. I need to progress with what I want.
I suppose then, for next week, I would modify the tracker to accept a number, and have the number based on either a fixed output (e.g. one wv entry = 1 pt) or a fixed time spent (30 minutes guitar = 1 pt). I suppose in terms of, say, guitar, I can just set an alarm and get into it until the alarm rings. Not sure how I'd do this for the allotment, but still. It would even prompt me to stay in the swimming pool, as I can put one point as say, 50 mins, and then will feel tempted to stay in for the full swim. I guess incentive structures work in a way. That is even though the points don't really mean anything...
Well, there we go. I'm arguably cheating in a way with these wv entries, as I'm really just taking journalling that I would normally do anyways, and using wv to get them "published" and so increasing my output according to the metric with little actual real increase, if that makes sense. The sort of thing one does at work (not me, of course).
Still, it would not hurt to try to be more artistic. This goes hand in hand with trying to relax the format of wv a little to allow for art of some kind, or drawing, and that kind of thing.
I've a lot I'm trying to do at the moment. I've got studying, full time work, gym, swim, allotment, and do try to see friends a little at least (less frequently than I should) as well as seeing family. Yet, the more I can do, the better, surely...?
Really, I complain I'm busy, but I'm not any busier than most people. The only difference is I've taken it upon myself to complain all the time. The point of this wv is at least partly to have the ability to complain I guess, that others don't need to deal with it (they still do a little).
And if I still have time to be idle, or to engage in vices, I'm not that busy. A part of the struggle I think comes from trying to overcome my vices, which gives a drag to the day and makes things harder in the short term.
So, perhaps try to just draw, say, twice a week? It won't take much time, and I don't need to draw anything impressive. It doesn't need to be the next Picasso, and in fact it certainly won't be. It could just be the odd sketch. Maybe just add it to the tasks tracker and I'll take it up if it can get me some more points...
Ok, let's make dinner now and actually do my guitar etc.
Have a good one.