2024-08-03
I felt a bit tender this last week. I'm not really sure why. I had incredibly poor sleep on Monday, and, when one of my colleagues made a comment that was meant in a perfectly good way, I ended up on the verge of tears (he just said, more or less, 'why did you do x'). I of course did not cry at all, and really just when I went to the bathroom a bit later went, 'oh, I'm in a mood' and then picked it back up. It's strange though, and I'm not really sure why I was so easily disturbed. The whole week I feel I have been a little on edge in that way. Hey ho.
As for my attempt at improvement, it's not been impressive this week. I've been busy with social events and work, and often just lazy. I have only gone to the gym once this week (better than none!) and have not swum at all. I've not gone to the allotment, only practised guitar twice, etc.
On the Thursday when I practised guitar, I set myself a half hour, but gave up after fifteen minutes in frustration. I was simply frustrated that I do not seem to be progressing with Here Comes the Sun, and was making many silly mistakes. I suppose that is fine, and I am going to (today) pick up a different song to boost my confidence on it, one that is easier to learn, and more strumming as opposed to fingering. Maybe Everyday by Buddy Holly. It'll still be quite difficult, and take several days, but will be worth it. It has a whistling section that I will need to learn to whistle for... I can't whistle at all...
I suppose I can just make small progress whatever I do. I think I will go to the gym starting from Monday again (Wednesday, and Friday as well) and keep it going.
This is a very rambly one...
A couple notes are, that I want to adjust my tracking a little. I tried this week to track amounts, which is slightly better, but the form I've got the tracking on paper doesn't allow me to write much detail. So, I've transposed it for next week, which will allow me to write more detail. I will also need to be a little more systematic and consistent next week.
This week, I had a few days where I ended up going to sleep late - about half ten or eleven. I then ended up getting up a lot later - both Friday and today (Saturday), I've gotten up at past eight. I woke up earlier but stayed in bed a little. I've drawn art twice (29th, 30th) and they're not very good of course, but it's just for a bit of fun. I've barely read this week, which needs improving. I've done squats some of the days, but really it hasn't been the best week. So, next week I want to try and improve it above that.
I have bitten my nails heavily this week. They are in an absolutely dire state. I wanted to try and get them gelled or something to help me not to do bite them, but currently it's not applied. I will do this next week, maybe.
I will try to use free weights from next week, as they are relatively less busy as compared to the machines (I can use the machines too) and will do three days: push, pull, and leg. That may be better. I will just need to learn how to use the weights well, and the bench. I suppose I also have a modicum of shame, because it requires a degree of skill that I don't have and don't want to show that. Well, what does it matter? I need to overcome this kind of anxiety.
So, in terms of the tracking, I have amended a few things, and will hopefully have a better system next week. I've also got a new system for the gym (which I will start going to again, and let swimming be relatively less frequent) where I will do a push/pull/leg over six days with a rest day in between. Try it for a couple months and see how it goes.
I've also discovered tonight that I am really, really, terribly bad at singing. Well, if I'm trying to pick up guitar again for playing songs, I really need to be able to sing at least a little bit, so I'll have to practise that more often. I'll do that alongside guitar.
I wonder if I'm pushing the limits of time I've got. I wonder if I should not focus heavily on one thing, say, gym, and then focus on another. Currently, I am spreading my attention among many things (gym, swim, guitar, (singing), a little art, RHS, LM2) alongside work and general social commitments. It's not very easy and I'm not sure really if I can make good progress.
In terms of hours of the week, I of course have the 168 everyone else does. Of these, let's rule out, say 60 for sleep (7 x 8 plus a little spare). This leaves 108. I have of course about 40 dedicated to work, so 68. Three days a week I've a commute, that takes about 3 hours total to walk: 65. Six further hours are commute, 59 - I can do work during these (e.g. LM2). If I go to the gym for an hour, and I've fifteen (make it 20 for rounding and space) minutes travel, I've got 3 + 2 hours bound up in this. This makes it 54. If I want to write wv, then let's give it two hours (it takes about one, normally). 52. A daily shower is 30 minutes if I factor in drying myself: 3.5 hours a week, let's knock it down to 48. For swim, that is 2h + 60m commute + 40m changing and drying; let's put it at 4h: 44h. I've still got such time, so where does it all go in my actual life? Well, I suppose it goes to social requirements, and just general chatting and all the parts of life that aren't just trying to get stuff done. I also read, generally just sit and do nothing (... call it meditation, it sounds less lazy), and engage in vices, waste time watching Youtube (well, I actually feel as though I learn a lot, given the kind of channels I watch...)
OK, have a good one. I'm going to bed.