2024-10-03
It is my 83rd wv: an arbitrary number. The topic however, was chosen because I am fast approaching 100,000 words. Before this wv, the count is 99,259 - actually because my counting logic is a bit off and also includes titles (just because the counting uses wv over all the files to get that sum - I need to amend this at some point to count correctly but that's a job for later me) the real sum is a little less, but only by a few hundred likely. Assuming that I have ten-word-long titles on average, I have written 820 words across my titles; this is enough to offset the crossing of 100,000 for this wv, but really: I don't care!
The 100,000 number is a nice one in our decimal system, but is of course itself arbitrary. That said, I think it's perfectly good to celebrate round numbers like this. However, the actual wv count is far less than this: as a result, I have essentially given myself several metrics I could celebrate (wv count, word count, potentially average word count, etc.) and am celebrating whichever of this conveniently works out for me. As I result I end up celebrating more often: instead of just celebrating, say, for every hundred, I have celebrated (in my mind) at 50, and then later at 50k words, and at 100, and now at 100k words, and have even celebrated at some stranger numbers. Is this bad?
I suppose it is all a play for me to keep motivation to keep on doing it, and really a way for me to build up confidence that I am doing... something, as in, I have work to show for what I have done. The cumulative effect of my writing wv is that I am now at eighty-three entries, when before I was struggling to get even into double digits. I am now in six figures in terms of word count, which (for the size of the task) is essentially the same: it represents 10%. Now, there is actually a lot more work to do still. All the effort that it took to get to 100, I've got to replicate that ten times over. And potentially it will feel more arbitrary to celebrate 150, etc., but that's fine.
Returning to the question, is it bad? I suppose in a way, it could be argued that it enforces a kind of short-term attention span, where I am being rewarded (mentally, by myself) for not really actually doing anything of worth. I am saying to myself, how good you've accomplished 100k words! when the count of entries (which is the actual metric I am using: I expect the words to surpass a million at the end) is still stuck at the measly number that is not worth celebrating of 83.
At the same time, there is potentially room for me to end up growing too depressed if I do not see any returns on it: as such, I am feeling good at arbitrary points that I set myself. I may even feel good after overcoming wordlessness (writer's block) at some point in the future, and use that as fuel to continue writing. And if I can't survive without the positive reinforcement (of my own thinking it) at this point, owing to my weakness, then I suppose I will eventually acquire this skill by grades, and will have that to show in the increasing distance between points of celebration: after all, though I might celebrate my first 75, I will hardly celebrate 375, or 475, or 775. Instead, it will go up: 25, 50, 75, 100, in usual increments, and then may become: 150, 200, 250, 300, and then, 500, and then 750, and finally 1000. The distances will grow longer, and I will grow more resilient to make it through the longer stretches without this kind of mental reinforcement. Ironically that will make it harder, because I'm giving myself one less free entry to write about an already sort of pre-decided topic...
And so, perhaps, it ultimately comes down, I suppose, to: do whatever keeps me writing. The main function of this is to be able to write 1,000 words more easily, which, for the most part, is achieved: I can ramble for 1,000 words much more easily now, even if I do often need to do so on multiple topics (which sort of invalidates it, in a way) and, recently, have for some entries been struggling to make it again. I wonder if there is some balance of having things to consume, digest, and output (to use the analogy of information as food), where if I strike up a good balance, I will be able to output well, and improve over time. The other aspect of writing wv is of course that it forces me to write... well, anything, unstructured, useless potentially (likely), and so could force some kind of improvement, or at least the kind of introspection that is associated with getting words out on paper.
Now, applying this to other things, I suppose, the general rule is that whatever allows for progress is good. Then, I suppose that it is hard to say that it is good or bad in a general (deontological) sense, but rather that the consequence is what matters. I suppose there is a wider question to be asked on whether this wv format is actually any good, or whether it does actually help me to write, or just is a place for me to ramble (which I did before) without building any skill in terms of writing itself. Really, I need to somewhat challenge myself in terms of writing, and the low pressures afforded to the wv are probably quite good in terms of gradually applying the pressure to write better (at the same time maintaining the 1,000 word limit). I know Visa has (had?) a time limit to write the entire wv in no more than 15 minutes: that wouldn't happen for me (I tend to write quite slowly) so I would need more like half an hour, but I could train to write more quickly using wv. Essentially, I can use this as a training ground, whilst also ensuring that I keep the habit of writing up.
In terms of the gym too... I could count the times I go to the gym, or for a particular session, if I've lifted a heavier weight than I thought I could, or if I did more reps, or felt less tired, or any number of other things. The key thing is that I'm going forward. Also, comparing a blog post that I read... today and I wish I would have made a note of it (after some searching: it's @@[here][https://andyiterations.bearblog.dev/my-productivity-fix/]) I need to ensure that recognise the growth that is happening, and not feel as if I am stagnating when I am not. I have heard the term growth mindset a bit around, but never really researched into it, so hey, there's another thing to do.
Ok, it's late now so have a good one.