2024-10-10
It's now the Thursday, and it's coming frightfully close to the point where I will be heading off for the flight. I'm going to have to catch a very early bus to make sure I get to the airport in time, so sleep will not be on my side.
I want to ramble a little, and given that I haven't written a wv for quite a while, I think it would be good. I have of course now got the blog, and have to deliberate each time I want to write whether it would be better suited for a ramble, or whether I can afford the mental effort to make it a little more... readable for the blog section. Of course, wv has the further restriction of around a thousand words, which sort of forces my hand to put a modicum of effort in to any of my writing, which, when viewed from that lens, actually sort of makes the restriction of wv somewhat meaningful.
In terms of @@[thousands][/thousands], I have decided to try to track things in terms of individual atoms, and then try to reach a thousand of those each. Now, this works somewhat, but I am on drawing 14 now (the number is going up far faster than it was before, due to Inktober forcing my hand a little to draw - I really ought keep it up after October finishes too), and I am of course still terrible. Now, for the gym, I am at 36 or so, and have noticed actual gains from that. So, really, I am wondering, at what point do gains begin to appear in this thousands system? As in, can I reasonably expect to start getting better at drawing (and noticing the fact) around my thirtieth drawing? Will a solid month of drawing help me, or does it need to be two, or three, or a year, or five? It depends somewhat I suppose on the degree of skill I wish to acquire, and, since I really only want to be able to sketch, I imagine I am not aiming for an incredibly high amount of skill.
One thing I have been thinking doing this is, I would like to try to keep it up and then compare my drawings this October to the ones I do next October, to notice a skill differential. Partly also, I think it will less so be in skill and also be in fluency, in that I could get a similar quality of drawing out on the page in a shorter amount of time. For instance, a "quick sketch" of a scene would be far more detailled. Some amount would also be due to capturing of information that I currently do not capture in my mind: for instance, the shape changes an object undergoes based on perspective, or the intricacies of drawing particular objects. For instance, even my drawing of a pint glass the other day (which is an object I see everyday, as I drink from them at home) was of the wrong proportion: I can recognise that as soon as I draw it, but I also do not exactly know how to draw a pint glass with the right proportions. As such, that becomes a kind of "reflexive skill", in the sense that it requires no actual effort to do once established. Sort of like, when learning a language, the ability to separate and pick up words comes naturally and without any real additional cognitive overhead, despite there being a real process there: it is so well affirmed by time that it is easy to do. In listening to German, I can for instance continue processing a sentence whilst at the same time being stuck on figuring out the meaning of one word a few sentences ago I didn't understand, and can adduce all the further information in the sentences following as context to the understanding of the one bit I don't understand. Likewise, I imagine when drawing, proper artists are able to draw without even thinking most common and simple objects, which allows them to get the majority of the scene down, and work on specific elements (with a degree of fidelity) that they are less adapted to drawing. In this way, with certain parts made easy to the point of thoughtlessness, the difficult elements can be given more time; I on the other hand am having to mull over perspective, and realise that I can't draw circles very well, etc.
Once I've finished Inktober, I will have 35 drawings to my name. This is a decent figure, and of course will then mean that I have a decent "portfolio" to look over and see where to improve, and hopefully have somewhat ingrained the skill into my head. Now, currently, I am finding that on certain days I am too tired to draw: I was on a backlog until yesterday, and did yesterday's drawing this morning on the train (which is also where I write from now), and will have to do today's drawing later. I did the same thing with the gym: it took a while to acclimatise to the habit, and early on I sort of have to force myself to go through the difficult part where I couldn't really lift anything, found the whole experience unpleasant, and wanted to not do it. Getting through that, I am now at the point where I haven't been for over a week and am feeling really bad about it. I want to go, but opportunity hasn't been there. I will get to go Friday morning, so that will be something at least (though bad sleep will ruin any gains, hey ho). In the same way, I think for drawing I am going through a period where, though I do want to do it, I feel a little obliged rather to do it, and so feel bad when I do not want to for one day, and so have to play catch-up (which makes matters worse). I think I will get a hang of it a bit later (say, by 30 or so) and then be in a situation where I am equally inclined to do it as I am the gym, and there is a degree of fluency, or really of knowing my place, where I can do so with comfort, and so gradually progress without trying to reach above my grade too early.
In other words, drawing is a difficult skill to cultivate!
The thing is, the tracking of things in terms of thousands will make me feel pretty good if I get around to having say, 100 at the gym, and for drawing, and will make me feel terrible if I don't do it. In other words, the kind gesture to my future self will be to take whatever action I can in the present to maximise this number, and I can use this number as a proxy for "doing the thing", and "doing the thing" will in turn cultivate the skill, or at least acclimatise me to the process, at which point I can begin to spend mental resources on actually progressing, instead of focussing it on silly things like trying to build motivation. It acts as a form of external motivation, but which is minimal in that it does not have any dependency outside of "doing the thing".
In that way too, I will feel accomplished when I hit 100 for wv, and I am considering adding another tracker bar for the blog as well. For all things that I want to do, it may be good to add a thousands entry, which will allow me to know that the actions I am taking are actually progressing something.
That I suppose is my justification for the thousands system, though new thoughts will come to me as I do it more, and actually progress each. I think, for the moment, the mindset needs to be "do all I can to maximise the number", which will involve dedicating time to each. Then, I will build familiarity and later skill.