2024-10-13
It's the Sunday today. I've still got another week in Bologna: the full Monday to Saturday. It is actually fairly daunting knowing I have a full week here; in a way, I can see how people like to visit places only for a day or two. Additionally, each day I am here now is another day I am neglecting my daily duties at home... not only the watering of plants for instance, but also work, which I will need to catch up on when I get back...
Still though, having a full week here to myself is a blessing in many ways. I have ample time to acquaint myself with the city, to go to Florence for a day or two, to find places, etc. I am considering whether one evening I want to try to find a bar or a club to go out to. Might be difficult on my own, and not being able to speak the language.
I saw trees today. I say that as if it's surprising: it means nothing at all to me back home to see trees, as we have them all over the place. But, since the streets here are the old fashioned fairly tight ones, there is no space for trees, and so the only trees there really are, are in the park. I did see a small sitting area that had four trees. Amongst all the red and orange of this city, the green really does stand out. It feels cooler, more accepting.
See, going to a place like this, and because it is so infrequent, I sort of want to see if I could live here. I suppose I have dreamt, between Germany and Norway and now here, many times in my life of the idea of getting away, of living somewhere foreign, like Europe. I feel somewhat more as if Europe is my scene than the UK. Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy the UK, I really do, but of course I also have my gripes about it. The thing is, I suppose I also don't want to move to a city and realise I've forgotten the trees. I am so used to them back home as I say, it has taken me a day to realise their absence, and I imagine after weeks and months this harshness, this humanity, would grate on me. Now, I might tomorrow try to explore west of the city, where the map is showing a lot more green... That will involve bringing bottles of water with me and maybe some food, so a trip to the Co-op may be in hand before.
It's only a few kilometers away though. See, if I want to live here, and I suppose I do want to find somewhere I can live and be happy, then I will need access to nature, because that is a part of my ... nature.
I stopped for a little while to look at the properties here today. They are fairly cheap (as in, not exceeding EUR300,000) but are all quite small. In that way, it is sort of just like any other city. I'm still undecided whether the city, or suburbia, or rural is where I want to live.
And I'm still young, and still living at home, so I get the luxury to try to explore. I think I dream of living in Europe a lot, and probably it would do me well to grant that wish to myself. Hopefully once I get German citizenship in a few years I will be able to explore a lot more...
And, in a way, I wonder also if I could just live out here for a few months and work at the same time. Or in Germany, say. To see what the life would be like. Of course, that would involve working remotely, which has its own problems (I am much better in an office setting). Or, I could even forego office work entirely, and try to get job working in a cafe or a bar for a little bit.
I worry about writing this wv whilst on holiday, or making the blog posts, in that I feel that I am somehow wasting the time away that I have. Of course, I have to relax, and I have been walking for the entire day (well, and eating). I need a chance to sit down and just maybe to write a little. Also in terms of the drawing, I am still continuing it (Inktober, or, the idea to draw each day) on holiday too, though I did two drawings yesterday that were terrible as I had no will or inspiration to draw at all. I essentially did the bare minimal to count as a drawing and get the day's count in, whilst not really doing so with any degree of dexterity, skill, or even desire to attain such. It was bad, and I knew it, but I helped relieve me of the burden of a "wasted" day in terms of drawing.
This thousands thing is I think a good think, and spurs me on to good behaviour. Even on a holiday, I shouldn't completely neglect the things I am trying to do to improve myself. For instance, I cannot go to the gym of course, but it does not stop me trying to do some press-ups in my room, or sit-ups, or squats. In this way, I can still improve health-wise and gain muscle and fitness even though I am on holiday and eating nothing but pizza and sorbet.
I suppose the question is: what is the point of a holiday? Is it to constantly be out, maximising the time and trying to get new experiences? Or is it to be in a new place, breathe different air, hear a different language, taste different food? (Well, pizza isn't really all that different...)
And to see new things. I think the holiday will be useful to me, if anything because it can help me decide whether I want to live here or not. I think I want to try to orient myself towards a place that is for me, and a holiday gives me a, granted superficial, oversight of what the place would be like. It allows me to decide whether a place is good for me or not. At the same time, I want to learn the language to overcome that superficiality: I can then understand conversations I hear on the street, and the news, and other such things, and try to pick up on what are the issues and the benefits of this country. That kind of thing. A holiday is a bridge into a less superficial understanding.
West Europe I think is where I want to be. Germany, or maybe Italy, or maybe even France, or something like that. I think the UK is... good, but I want to be elsewhere. Perhaps I've grown too used to it. That said, I cannot exactly even enumerate the problems with it so well, and wonder if I won't throw the baby out with the bathwater, or rather if I won't be getting myself into a situation that is worse without my realising: what if the problems with Italy become only more dire after I move here, if I do? That kind of thing.
I don't imagine there is a paradise anywhere on this earth; rather that all societies structure themselves in largely the same way. Perhaps it is an attempt to find the one that brings out the best in the human condition?
I'm really not sure on any of it.
Have a good one.