2024-10-26
I think I have a bit of a problem with trying to optimise things, and then never really doing them. For instance, I have been trying to work out this morning what is the optimal way of doing my exercises at home, if I want to do daily exercises at home (push-ups, sit-ups or planks, maybe now superman planks) to ensure I get consistent exercise. But of course, it is all well and good me planning, e.g. to do a certain amount of press-ups but only every other day to get rest, etc. but the important thing is actually doing them. I am a man who loves to play in theory and the mind, but struggles to actually go and do the thing.
Now, it is not that I am doing *nothing*: I am actually doing some amount at least, and have done it fairly consistently for six months now. So, I am going to see gains if I keep this up for many more months (say, a year or two) but I also need to acknowledge that I am not seeing the kind of gains I could, precisely because I am often loathe to do things. This morning, instead of going to the gym as I told myself I would, I slept in. I wonder if this was a good thing or not: I have been a little sleep deprived the whole week, and probably would benefit from getting a bit more. That said, I would also benefit from going to the gym. I'm going to go tonight anyways (stick to that promise, me!) but it still feels as if I am slacking in this time. In reality, I am, somewhat. But also, I am spending too much time in theory, and not enough time in the actual hard work that needs to be done.
There is a healthy compromise. There is an amount of theory that is necessary, but also there is an amount of actual work that needs to be done. The work is sadly unpleasant to do. I have to choose between either the suffering that happens when doing the task, or the mental suffering that comes later from not feeling as if I've done enough. For instance, I am looking at push-ups in /thousands now and seeing I have only done 200, since the 13th. That is 13 days and 200 pressups, or about 15 per day. I do not feel that that is really enough; that is only about two sets, or maybe 1.5 sets, and so is not really the amount of effort I should be putting in. I think I should be aiming say for fifty a day (every other day, though) to see serious gains.
I like the idea that suffering now is empathy towards one's future self. For instance, I am thinking continually about what exactly I want to do, which is also empathy towards my future self, but the actual work being done is the truly empathetic action: I will have a future self that can feel more contented in his own skin, and can not have the same kind of concerns that present me has. I will be healthier for it.
And so, I need to, for my future self, stop being so invested in theory. I need to do the actual work. For instance, I have done the work for wv the past few months, and whilst I am not really making the same kind of gains the past few days (less inclination to write) I have almost hit 0100. That is a serious gain!
In terms of the daily exercises, I wonder if /thousands is the best platform for it as well. At work I was trialling a "slots" method, where I have a slot each week say, for a given task to be done, and can fill up the next weeks slots if I overperform (and give myself time to work on something bigger in the same way). I wonder if this is a good system. I think any system will is conducive to the thought of underperforming is bad in its own way. That said, if I am underperforming there is no way to obscure that, and a lack of performance is inherently underperforming.
So, generally, I think I need to just do the work, right? That is the answer. Just suffer a little in the present. Then, I will see later than I have made actual gains.
Also, a large part of what I want is to remove the overhead of things that stick in my mind. As in, if anything is sticking in my mind as a thing I have a backlog on, I should try to work to remove it. That way, in the future, I will have less to worry about, less mental overhead. That will just make life more enjoyable, and fundamentally I am doing this as I want my future life to be more enjoyable than my current life. I am not sure if it will actually work, of course, but it's worth a try.
I want to be healthier, with less pain. I want to eat well. I want the things that I try to put effort into to be successfully. If I spend time just thinking about something, then I won't actually make the improvements, so the important point is just that I need to try and actually get stuff done (gtd?) and I can hopefully make the kind of improvements that I want. As usual, I am stuck in the limbo state of "it'll be better at some point in the future".
*sigh*
Ok, have a good one.