2024-10-28
On a worthless day like the 28th October (couldn't it have been a more tidy date like 2025-01-01 or something?) I am now writing my hundredth wordvomit.
I want to do a little bit of a retrospective on this one, since it is the hundredth, after all, and marks 10% completion. Of course, in terms of actual words, it is 117k, so really it does not mark a specific count of words, but in terms of the entry number it is special, or significant in some way.
So, how has this been?
I have been thinking about the thousands a little bit recently anyways, and note that I have gotten to this state almost as if by necessity (since I have been writing these), and with a little bit of forcing for some entries, but still in a way that almost appears as if it happened by nothing. Once the entry is written, it almost disappears into the past, and then I end up with a number that is gradually increasing, and will eventually hit 100, then 200... But I do not feel as if any work I have done has actually contributed to that. In a way, I have just got to this state as if by magic. Of course, it is not particularly impressive either way: other people likely have this point when they realise a book is finished, or when they have written a hundred blog posts of good value, or something like that. I am not in that state: I have just rambled a hundred times, essentially. Yet, it was a historical, yesterday me that actually wrote all of the entries, and so I have in a way not done anything towards the actual goal.
It is strange to then be in this state. The same sort of applies for the rest of the thousands, but not to the degree of wv. I wonder why. I think because wv requires truly almost no effort: there is as said a tiny bit of forcing it occasionally, but mostly it arrives naturally. I want things to just arrive naturally like this. Of course, I did put the work in I suppose, but it doesn't feel that way. I've gotten an expected outcome for the actions I've performed, without having to stress about it.
I still don't know what wv is. I've written a tenth of the total entries, and I still have plenty of time left. I think a lot of Visa's were about advice or that kind of thing as is his style, which he already had by that point. For me, I have not really settled on a form, or a thing to write, or a particular topic at all. I essentially don't know at all. I think though, wv can function as a kind of scratchpad for me. I think also, that it in a way forces words out of me, and I am not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing.
I have also been writing more in the other sections (blog, poetry) and have not written any prose. For wv, I think I would like it in future to be more structured in a way, or to be a place where I can essentially draft ideas that I can later fashion into something a bit better, like either a blog post (if short form) or longer form writing.
There is a long way forward in terms of this.